英國人常拿自己國家的天氣開玩笑，可能是想要用他們的英式幽默來彌補這裡持續陰霾的天氣。長期缺乏暴曬的痛快使他們憧憬列陽當空的明天。不過陰暗一點，其實也沒什麽不好的。

今年夏天，這裡的太陽熱呼呼地曬了兩個禮拜之久。熱辣辣的十四天，足以把我的皮膚哄得像麵包皮一樣地焦黑，發亮。我還懊惱了一陣子，因爲白皙一點看起來還是比較溫柔的。
熱，它爬進了我的身體，即使我不緊張，不急躁，不走不動也會因它的存在而狂冒汗。灌下喉嚨的開水，還沒下肚都很快地被蒸發掉了。以爲整個夏天都無法出門的我，只有無奈地對着棉被傾訴。熱，它真的很狂妄。

誰知後來，自然醒的某一天，太陽被北風打了一拳，瞬間就倒下去了。而英國人常說的 “Good ol’ British weather” 馬上跑了回來就位。

過了一個禮拜，太陽仍然昏迷着，我心血來潮跑到學校的咖啡座，叫了一杯 cappuccino。室内異常冷清，我在微冷的空氣裏，我看著密得散不開的云。

Cappuccino 的溫度也慢慢地，慢慢地在下降。

他们都是陌生人

陌生人，踏着坚定的步伐，在我前方走着。
转个弯，他不见了。却还听到那双干净的球鞋正与地板摩擦着。
我一慌，跑了起来，笨重的脚步声在隧道里显得更笨重。 听不到他了。

转个弯，他又出现了。我慢下来的身体，现在才懂得开始喘气。

Stranger

Monday
Back on the crowded subway
Blankly
Face to face we stand
Standing
Packed in the morning rush
Come just a little closer if you must
But make way
For my imagination
Like a tray
Filled with gems and gold
You can take your pick
Keep all the good ones
Leave the bad ones
Till tomorrow
I’ll see you again
my way

这首诗是跟着Kiss Me 的旋律写的。
灵感来自于王菲的两首歌。
陌生人 你应该听过吧？
第一首是《光之翼》，第二首是《只爱陌生人》。

谢谢 你陌生人 给我那么多的灵感。
谢谢 我陌生人 给我那么多的，

我觉得非常开心，而且非常愉快。
歌非常好听。
谢谢。
アイの力あげるよ！


アイの力くれて、ありがぴ～！

加油加油加油~！

我觉得，我觉得，我觉得。常常听到人家这么说。其实从你口中说出来的，难道会是圣旨，是皇帝的话？或是圣经，上帝的话？

反正在我的世界里，圣旨也好，圣经也好，没有绝对的好与坏，善与恶，对于错。
只有喜欢或者不喜欢。

喜欢很厉害。喜欢可以让讨厌的人变可爱，让逃避变解脱，让脏话变真理。

而你的‘我觉得’也只能在我喜欢上你之后才被接纳。
要不然，它也只等于一只毛毛虫，我会双手奉上给隔壁家小孩践踏。
(啊~ 悦耳的跺脚声！)

喜欢非常厉害。我要把它捧在手里，细心翻阅。

我觉得，

就是这个样子。

eberidae ai whew
eberinigh ai dweem
eberitaimai sinkoyu ai whewah hwaining een maihar... always... いつまでも...

For now: Happy with everything except my hair.

sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands... I am what the society describes as eat full too free... I should go be a construction worker...

Here's a rock I wouldn't mind having on my finger! Heavy as it may be.















Side view. Cutting a better profile than me...















Goes to show that I don't only love the rock in Rock & Roll!

I wanna catch Forbidden City: Portrait of an Empress but its run ends 16 September... why?

I seek solace in the countdown ticker tick-tocking its way to the very moment my plane lands on the swanky runway of Changi Airport. I like how it is always ticking even when there’s no one looking; time is passing every moment, even if it’s too slow for me to notice.

I also seek solace in the great mess in my room.
















I can be messy, but I’m rarely this messy.




















And I’m only this messy, because I’ve started packing for home.

Deconstructing my room bit by bit… …

I’ve dragged out my suitcase and put two random stacks of clothes into it. I’ve also brought out my fairly large hand-carry, and together with all my other soft bags, it’s strewn across the carpet of my room. I’ve filled the tea chest I’m shipping home and left its flaps to jut out as they please. I poke into it from time to time for things that (I now realise) I still need. I’ve emptied my shelves of unwanted magazines and they now lie in two bulging paper bags by my cupboard. Finally, just for today, you see hangers perched on curtain rails and clothes lopped over open boxes as laundry is left out to dry.

I am not proud of the mess. I leave my cupboard open as a shield, so anyone standing at my door will not catch sight of this complete disaster (or piece of art, depending on how you relate to it). But it gives me an illusion that I’m living out of my suitcase and makes me feel like a person in transit. Home is coming! And I feel better.

It’s strange that I’m more homesick now, than any other time over the course of the year because home is less than two months away. But as with all difficulties, this trying period, once overcome, will make a different person of me. Flowers will bloom from my split-ends and I’ll grow an inch taller. Haha! Thank God I don’t have to stay for another year.

I’m reminded of this dorama. The female lead (Nakayama Miho) goes on a holiday and on her way home, gets embroiled in all sorts of ‘adventures’, diverting her from her journey. Sounds interesting but I’m not watching it anytime soon… don’t wanna have nightmares.

I’m gripped by a sudden fear that should I die now, people are going to read my diary(s) thinking that, you know… oh, we miss Su so much… it’s ok that we get more of her now that she’s dead. No, it’s not ok. Please don’t do that. If not you will be cursed and your children will be cursed. If you have no children then your friends’ children will be cursed. If you have no friends then, ok, only you will be cursed.

If I die and you find my diary(s), please don’t throw them away. Help me tape them up in a durable plastic bag and label clearly at the front:
Anyone born in or after the year A.D. 2044, and is alive in the year A.D. 2144 has Liew Suyi’s permission to read her diaries. Trespassers (and their children) will be cursed.

Then keep them safe. When you have children, pass them to your most reliable child and ask it (don’t know him or her) to pass them to its most reliable child. Hopefully my diaries can be a valued as an archive of sorts in A.D. 2144 although I write nothing on current issues and politics.
If you find doing this too much of a hassle, then burn them to me. Thanks!

Rise & Shine

P-chan hobbled out into her balcony at the break of dawn. She gasped. The sun was not rising properly. He had stretched his rays above him, pushing himself downwards, away from the horizon.

P-chan went back into her apartment. She went into the kitchen and took out:

Butter
Sugar
Eggs
Vanilla Essence
Flour
Baking Soda

In that order, she combined all of the ingredients in a large mixing bowl. What she got was a thick, yellow batter. She slopped the lazy batter into a perfectly round baking tin then very gently, pushed the tin into a 180º C oven.

Forty minutes later, the sugar had swum to the surface and caramelised into a light-brown crust. P-chan poked a skewer through the crust and it came out the way it went in – gleaming silver. P-chan brought the cake out and turned it onto a cooling tray then put the kettle to boil. When the kettle whistled, P-chan made herself a cup of coffee and cut herself a slice of cake. She took the coffee and took the cake out into the balcony.

By this time, the sun was up and out like yesterday and the day before, chasing clouds in the bright blue sky.

P-chan went back indoors for her sunscreen and shades before she sat herself down in the balcony to sip on her coffee and munch on her cake.





Narrator: Me
Character: P-chan

This is not P-chan's cake. P-chan's cake doesnt have cream and jam sandwiched in the middle... but I just wanted to show-off this picture... hehheh...

他寫了這麽一句：

到底是創作本來就只能孤單

還是是因爲孤單才走向創作

我覺得很有意思。

黃俊郎是個才子。他又會畫畫，又會寫作。

我不知道他的長相，卻知道他愛古典音樂。
我還沒愛上他，卻忍不住已經想要變成他。

我覺得很有意思。

太有意思了。

We couldn’t get the coveted tickets to Billy Elliot so settled for We Will Rock You – a musical about music. I’d wanted to catch it for sometime. They will Rock me leh…
















The poster: a guitar swinging rocker leaps before a (not so) maniacal, intoxicated crowd.

It’s a comedy based in the future (year 2300-something). There’s no live music on Planet Mall (previously known as Earth). Instruments are illegal and globalisation is so complete that kids all over the world share the same fads, wear the same clothes and listen to the same digital music produced with computers.
But, one surviving instrument, the guitar, lies buried beneath a rock on Planet Mall and it is up to The One – The Dreamer, The Messiah – to find it if He can first be found. (I’m totally into this 英雄主义 thingy…)

The Baddies:
The citizens of Planet Mall are under the control of Globalsoft, a company fervent in manipulating their clone-like consumers, estranging them from the history of music and media. They churn out clone products (including music) to dominate the consumer’s minds. They’re also out to destroy all potential The Ones.

The Goodies:
The Bohemians are a wacky bunch of rebels who believe in freedom and the hither years of real music-making. They are looking for The One so he can find The Guitar and give them salvation by bringing music back to live.

The plot is relatively simple as with most musicals but the idea was great. The singing was good! And it was moving… the music thing lor… hit me at the right spot. They also dissed Boybands saying something like: they call themselves a band but they are not; they are fantastic dancers with squeaky voices. (Yikes!!!) Is it about the music or is it about the music?

One funny part was this. *spoilers* People of that time have no names, they are called www.somethingsomething. Going against this, the Bohemians name themselves after celebrities of our time. But because they only have snatches of incomplete information from fragments of old posters and magazines (‘something like websites but printed on paper’), they know the King of Rock as Pelvis! (Woaaahh!!!) This guy named himself after the coolest, most revered rapper ever – Britney Spears. They call a video tape ‘Vai-Dee-O Tarp’ and television ‘Tee-Lee-Vai-Si-On’. Hurhurhurhurhur… God, I’m so bad at making this sound funny (but it was so funny!). Ok, I shall spare you.





















They're rocking at the Dominion Theatre.


Read more at http://www.queenonline.com

Anyone has the mp3 to Dragostea din Tei or 'Numa Numa' by O-zone? Send me can? Or tell me where to d/l it can? I like!!!

Look at this!!! So cute!!!

I first heard it here... hehhehheh... I'm gonna set it as my ringtone... Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh!!!!

I am so in need of a haircut but I don’t wanna waste my (Dad’s) money PLUS risk getting something drastic done by the Chinese lady, leaving nothing for Jason to work on. So I’ll have to wait another 2 months before I get a haircut. Damn sianz lor… sometimes small things like that can really get me down. My hair looks like shit lor.
Everyday I regret having agreed to stay for the launch. There’s so much hassle involved. I dun even know where I’m going to stay. I dun even think I’ll enjoy it but I’m just staying to not make things difficult for my course mate. Of course it’s to ‘leave no regrets’ and to not 耍大牌 as well. Silly and unconvincing reasons that I know are not worth the stress of thinking where to stay, when to stay where, lugging my luggage around, booking & coordinating the coaches, spending more money and the grouchiness I feel now. But there’s no backing out. 一言既出，驷马难追。 My big mouth promised lor… Next time dun anyhow 心软 promise people lor… バカ！

Ahhhh… do work lah, go do work!

See, Su iz Shu Nu...


Shu Nu must eat beautiful food like strawberries


In beautiful teahouses


Take pictures of kawaii fairy cakes


And butterfly cookies


And expensive chocolates


Not in a shambles even in Little Shambles


Breeze and spots of sunshine


Ahhhh... you too can have this beautiful life... hur hur hur hur... ... ...



And the (only presentable) NG shot

Hur hur hur hur hur... ... ...

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

谢天谢地 I managed to put together 25 pages of kena-sai poetry that I'm ready to BURN after I'm done with the MA! Now it's editing... EDIT! EDIT! EDIT! Sianzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 我的命真苦！！！

Oh, still got that stupid critical analysis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so 没有实力！SO 没有实力！Don't 安慰我！Don't 安慰我！！！

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the topic of shock-factor that Wei started, I admit not many cities can be culturally shocking once you’ve lived in Tokyo (especially in a building with a load of gaijins).
So it is that when I came to the UK, everything was ok lor… this building is historical… ok lor… look at those punks… ok lor… the tube map looks like a plate of coloured spaghetti… ok lor…
Fish & Chips? Nothing special. Oishii bread? Had them in Tokyo. Harrods? Yeah, it’s big & grand but it can’t beat seeing young Shibuya-kei couples breezing in and out of Ginza’s Tiffany’s like nobody’s business.

But if there’s one thing that struck me, it’s how the Brits wear their bodies. The women air half a globe of their breasts without batting an eyelid and come summer time, the men walk around topless – here, there, everywhere! They. Don’t. Care. Ok, ok, rephrase. Those-With-Good-Bods Don’t Care! (Thank God they care to workout in winter!) Lian even wanted to take a picture of this phenomenon (yeah rite!) for keep’s sake but rest assure I stopped her.

I’ve never seen a topless Jap guy in Shinjuku… maybe they’re too lazy to workout, maybe it’s an East vs West difference, I dunno. So there, a minor culture shock from me to you.

The End.

At York’s Castle Museum, saw some old army uniform hung along a corridor. While other visitors ignored those poor garbs, I chiong-ed to try them on! The Ah Pek in-charge 冷眼观摩-ed us for awhile, decided that we were really enthu, then came forth and taught us the proper way to wear them. He even わざわざwent into the storeroom to get us the gun and helmet!


This jacket is too trendy! I wanna take it home!


Ok, the full garb! Only took one photo which didn't do the load I was carrying on my back any justice!

See HW! I'm into benign cosplay!

My return date has been pushed back and back again.

ぜんぜんやる気がない。

So I've taken off the ticker for now.

自分の世界に戻りたい。





















寂しい。

WH, how do you make those countdown thingies? Although the exact date of my return is not confirmed yet but can I have one? So, you know, can let my fans have an idea when to start airing the red carpet, prepare banners etc.

Some time ago, Mom told me that Waipo may come live with us in the near future. They are thinking of selling her flat after the upgrading. I’m all for it because although I cannot communicate with old people, I actually like them. But The Home is not that big. We’ll have to make space at the piano area which may be difficult. But it should be workable, we’ll see.

And now do they see why having the piano in my room would’ve been a good idea? Which just reminds me of the time when we were doing up The Home. I said, “I want the piano in my room.
Dad said, “Don’t want lah. Why don’t you don’t put the piano in your room?”
“No, I want the piano in my room.”

Then on a later occasion, the designer said, “I think you should take the piano out of your room because with it in there it’s impossible for us to do anything at all.”
So I said, “Okay.”
And Dad said, “Wah! The designer is so persuasive! I have been trying to get her to not have the piano in her room for the longest time but she just wouldn’t listen.”

The O.S. in my heart went like this: He only said ‘don’t put the piano in your room’. That’s hardly persuasion. But the designer used the magic key word ‘impossible’. If it were impossible for them to do anything then it only made sense for me to oblige.

I don’t dream of having a spacious room because I like to have all my things within an arm’s length, so I don’t have to get up and walk around much. But now I do wish my room is that bit bigger so that I can have the piano in. Or that we have one more room in The Home so Waipo wouldn’t have to squeeze with the piano.

On the topic of my room, I gave very explicit instructions before I left:
1) If you are using my computer, turn on the air-con.
2) You can use my room but…
3) If you are using my room, keep it clean.

Safe to say, they did not follow. (Wooooo!!! Su not around liao!!! We can anyhow, anyhow do what we want liao!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dance dance dance*)
My CPU was kept under the table and backed into a wall. Because of that, it overheated easily and would send horrible beeping signals but this problem could be solved simply by turning on the air-conditioning. Would they comply though? Noooooooooooooooo…………. I can hear the beep when I Skype them lor!
So then what happened? My CPU collapsed from the heat and they had to send in Mr Tan. Then now how? THEY PUT MY CPU ON TOP OF THE TABLE!!! WAHLAO!!! DAMN ANGRY LOR!!! The whole point of it being under the table is so that it’ll be hidden, because it’s too ugly to be seen. And my table top scratches easily lor. ARGH! I am Fatt Lan Zar-ing now; my little tumour of anger just grew an inch in diameter. But never mind, out of sight out of mind. They better revert everything to as-per-I-had-left-it before I get back. Or else… …

Or else… Or else… What? OR ELSE WHAT? Or else nothing lor, or else the angry tumour in me will explode and together with it, I’ll sublimate. Hahahahaa… Hmmm… how does that work?

Hi everyone, says the cat in the box.

 

A long overdue blog to keep the heart pumping.

I was thinking of a Beyond song on my way back from London because I couldn’t fall asleep on the coach. I know:
1) It’s by Beyond
2) Jacky Cheung sang it in his latest concert CD
3) How the chorus goes

But I couldn’t remember the title or the rest of the song. Think. Think. Think. What were the lyrics? If I could only remember the lyrics I’m sure I’d remember the whole damn thing. I’d sung this song in Sunday class before and had even copied the lyrics out. I remember Joey gave a gasp and whispered, “Beyond!” when she realised I was gonna sing this song because, well, it is Beyond!

I admit, I emitted soft, trial&error noises on the coach as I struggled to recall. Hum. Hum. Hum. How painful it is to think up forgotten melodies. Finally, when Lian woke up, I asked her and SHE KNEW THE SONG! That’s like the one and only Beyond song she knows. Lucky me! Anyway, I came home and did a search for the lyrics and here it goes:

情人

盼望你沒有為我又再度暗中淌淚
我不想留低 你的心空虛
盼望你別再讓我像背負太深的罪
我的心如水 你不必癡醉
* WOO... 你可知 誰甘心歸去
你與我之間 有誰#

是緣是情是童真 還是意外
有淚有罪有付出 還有忍耐
是人是牆是寒冬 藏在眼內
有日有夜有幻想 無法等待

盼望我別去後會共你在遠方相聚
每一天望海 每一天相對
盼望你現已沒有讓我別去的恐懼
我即使離開 你的天空裡
Repeat * #

多少春秋風雨改 多少崎嶇不變愛
多少的唏噓的你在人海Repeat #

NOW, I remember EVERYTHING!!!
I have an urge to listen to my Beyond CDs. You see, that’s the thing about being away from my CDs. I also want to listen to the Jacky Cheung concert CD. All of which I did not convert into MD or MP3. Sighs, that’s the thing about being away from my CDs.


Anyway, there's a picture of Lian and I doing the tourist thing in London! Heehee, JY, you really wakaru leh! I'll see how about blogging about the trips lah... Leaving for York in a while!

Changes

P-chan was talking to MiPPi-chan and thinking… God, we’re still on the same topic we started 5000 years ago. But P-chan was kind, so P-chan went on to humour MiPPi-chan, although she found that topic stale. She told MiPPi-chan that some things never change and some things have the capacity for change and some things will eventually change. MiPPi-chan was happy to hear about all that change. P-chan figured she’d be. Afterall, she had been on the same topic for 5000 years. Her subconscious craved change… surely?

Anyway, MiPPi-chan missed P-chan and P-chan missed MiPPi-chan and there was no telling who missed who more but that wasn’t important.
The important thing was that P-chan meant well even when she was humouring MiPPi-chan. And even though she knew MiPPi-chan sensed that she had graduated from the 5000 year old mind set, MiPPi-chan had seemed happy for her. It didn’t matter that they were different.
Finally, P-chan knew it in her heart that one day, good things will happen to MiPPi-chan because MiPPi-chan is really smart and kawaii.


Narrator: ME
Characters: P-chan & MiPPi-chan

Ohayo! Instead of the usual coffee I’m having green tea. It should help to expel some of the oil I consumed yesterday. Because after the bagel and croissant, I’m on a roll! Hoho! No lah, I didn’t have a roll, I had Ciabatta yesterday.

This is my 特性 ラムバーグ·チアバッタ (Special Lamburg Ciabatta). The minced lamb is very oily, which is why I need the green tea.

*****

*****

(twelve hours later)

Lian is here! We I went shopping! Will show some of my buys when I have enough energy to take pictures of them. The pictures of me today are cho off form cos I never ma-ke. Hope I won't have problems falling asleep tonight because we have to get up early tomorrow to go to Stratford-upon-Avon. Looking forward to the afternoon tea here. Tomorrow I shall ma-ke and be more onz form and hopefully I’ll have better pictures!

On a completely different note, I’ve been pretty taken with Jason Mraz (again, I know). I’m getting his concert DVD off Amazon (I have the soft copy but still…). We can watch it together when I get back. Heeeeeee!!!!!

I bumped into a friend at Costcutter’s the other day.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Good, very good and you?”
“Good.” Short pause, then, “why do you look so… … pale?”
Pale?
ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I felt what little blood I had left, drain from my face and neck.
“Maybe it’s because I had not been sleeping well. Aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha…”

I had been, for the past months, rosy from the autumn cold, winter cold and spring cold. Now that summer is here, I’m looking pale… and yellow. Sallow. Argh!!! Offer me a neck now and I will wring it till my knuckles turn pale. No wait, what colour is it?

If you’re wondering why I’m blogging so much, it’s because I’ve been having difficulties falling asleep. I spend the three hours or so before I enter dreamland constructively thinking up things to blog. Other times I fantasise about food or being back in Singapore. Yawn.

Where got pale??? 我氣色好得很呢！

No wonder I’m screwed up!
I mentioned my aunts in the previous entry about food, yeah? That and a recent chat with HW about childhood made me realize how my aunts (The Aunt) totally screwed me up as a kid. Sigh… I am so poor thing.

One of the most frequent comments that came from said Aunt when I was a child (notice how she stopped making that comment now that I have safely blossomed into a screwed up adult) was this: 奶奶最疼Beverly的，hor?
‘Hor?’ added to disguise the statement. So it becomes a question so, you know, somebody had to reply her (good, obliging kids as we were).
I’m thinking, maybe The Aunt wanted more sibling rivalry for family drama? Hmmm… Nah… she’s just evil lah! Where do you think I got my evil streak from? Hahahaa… Ok, ok, it’s from my Mom but The Aunt contributed to some of it.
To tell the truth, I’d never notice the favouritism until the ‘adults’ made a big deal of it. (Sigh, ‘adults’) My 奶奶 was in so very little of my childhood for it to be evident and for her to even matter enough. I only spent about a year of my childhood with her? But even after she died (I was ten), the ‘奶奶最疼Beverly’ statement persisted over and over, again and again. Garnished with an imitation (by The Aunt of course) of how my 奶奶 would go ‘Ngai Eh Beverly’ (My Beverly) – I’d never heard my 奶奶 say it before so in my memory, it's only in The Aunt’s voice, her mannerisms. Sometimes she’d even ask, ‘Would she (奶奶) say Ngai Eh Suyi?’ Like DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whenever The Aunt made this comment, and my Mom was around, she would hurry to say, “But Suyi 有奶妈疼。” As a kid I would think, if Ming had a 奶妈 wouldn’t her 奶妈 love her too? Perhaps it wasn’t but at that time, that sounded like a consolation to me. I mean, I knew my 奶妈很疼我 (and only I had a 奶妈)，but what had that got to do with whether 奶奶 favours Ming? (And it wasn’t like it was just between Ming and I, Ming was favoured over all the grandkids but I was the only one bearing the brunt of The Aunt’s insufferable comments.)
Was it supposed to matter that my 奶奶preferred my sis? I only learnt that when it bothered them. In compensating me with my 奶妈was how my Mom had unwittingly conveyed to me that I was in a wanting situation. But she only did what was most natural to her and it was also a reflex to deflect the seeds of resentment The Aunt was trying to sow. I’m just glad that Ming and I didn’t grow up competitive. What with all the hidden see!-Ming-has-one-you-will-also-have-one messages. Although I did become nutty (but it’s ok in a way cos my family is crank, not I say one, my mother say one).

I suppose it didn’t strike me as a thing to take note of the first time I heard it, because I don’t remember the first time at all. What I remember is it recurring countless times. And by the time it committed to memory, it was dreadful. The little me didn’t know how to react to The Aunt. I thought to myself, how does she want me to react? I admit I was agitated, because I knew she was trying to agitate me… yeah, I fell right into her trap; she was, after all, older and better at it. Whenever I got agitated, I also got very extreme. I was reacting to The Aunt and her intentions and sarcasm instead of the matter itself and I didn't know how to handle that.
Because if it were only about Ming, then I would say, ‘I’m so happy for her full stop. Why? No why, just plainly happy full stop.’
But reacting to The Aunt made me feel like saying, ‘So what?’ but I didn't say it because that was a rude thing to say, and I cannot be rude. (I really got it from my parents the once I was rude to The Aunt but that’s another story)
‘So what?’ also sounded defensive which wasn’t how I felt.
I also thought I could feign an interest in the matter and go, ‘Pray, tell, how did she favour my sis?’ But that’s fake lah, so I didn't. Besides, her best example was just how my 奶奶would say: Ngai Eh Beverly. The End.

So most of the time, I would put on a half smile and an expression of waiting, waiting for the next topic to come because this one doesn’t involve or interest me much. Sometimes I wonder why The Aunt was so evil and why The Aunt wanted to screw me up. But no, I think The Aunt just wanted to screw everybody up, not just me, I was just more available and susceptible (being kind as I am). And the strangest thing is that The Aunt actually loves me and I know that as a fact too… sigh, life.

The Uncle also made a feeble attempt at this business by telling my Mom that I would grow up to be a PaiKia with tattoos. Like, huh??? Wahlao, I hardly knew The Uncle lor. He lived in Malaysia and seldom visited us but he was wise enough to know my future? Wahahaha… did his third eye not warn him that I am a Witch? That I would grow up to be evil and powerful? And look who’s emaciated now, living in poverty having eloped to The Philippines? Rule #1 for Rude Uncles: Do not prophesy until niece is proven not a Witch.

Now come my present screwed up personality.
If anyone tells me good news, e.g.: so and so complimented me. Unless for some reason I am truly happy for that person (which actually occurs more often than you think), most of the time I’d put on a half smile and well, dunno what to say. Ok, lah, actually I’ll say ‘Wah! So good ah?’ It’s more of a ‘dunno what to think’ than ‘dunno what to say’. Should I be really happy? Because I probably am not feeling naturally happy if I am thinking that; so should I try harder? Should I wait and see if my Mom will appear and say, ‘See! You also have’? Most of the time, I take the same old strategy, I just wait for the next topic to start.
So you see I cannot be happy for The Public in general because I’ve been conditioned to be blasé. Sometimes I’ll suspect if the good-news-bearer is trying to slip in a sharpened blade somewhere, just like The Aunt. I am the Queen of Insinuations by the way. And the Queen of Paranoia… ok, I share that title with WH & XY. Erm… what was the point I was trying to make? Oh yah, how The Aunt screwed me up. But erm… don’t take me too seriously (I know you people have to be reminded from time to time).

It’s difficult being parents, isn’t it? How do you fend off such weirdoes screwing up your kid head? How would you know the way to remedy it? That’s why HW and I were saying we cannot make it as mothers… I’d probably end up the one destroying my kid. But Jane says she trusts me (thanks Jane!) to teach her kid English, hurhur, Singlish more like it! And maybe singing. And she says I can be her kid’s Fairy Godmother! Woohoo!!! Hurhurhur! My first step to screwing up other people’s children.

Yawn, I am so sleepy. I have over worked myself. I was Fitness Queen for the past three days. Day one I went swimming, day two I did Yoga and day three I went swimming again. I'm so fit I’m not even aching much (just a little here and there). You know how if you don’t wash your hair for ten thousand days or so they start to self cleanse? The human body have mysterious functions indeed. I suspect, I have not exercised for so long that my body have decided to self-fit itself! Sonnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must be really lucky. Good work body!

And now I’m going to save my work because the lousy MSWords just crashed on me causing me to lose what I’ve blogged.

I dun even remember what it was that I blogged… I have a lousy memory. Something about ‘Lian is coming on Thursday’ and ‘Yay’. I remember there was this part where I wrote I’m sure I can convince Lian to ‘share leh, share’ (aka HW) food with me. I also wrote that I actually have a lot of work to do. Anyone wants to let me plagiarise their poems? (XY strictly not included, thank you very much)

I have been sniffing out places to eat (what’s with the obsession man???) in London and around my boring Uni. I remember now! My boring Uni! I wrote that I meant to take more pics of my boring Warwick life so I could show and tell but then I just haven’t got down to it cause I’m that lazy. And cause it’s weird to be seen snapping pictures alone around campus. And that although I am weird, I don’t intend to announce it to the world at large as it’s none of their business. They shouldn’t be so kaypoh. Curse them! (hurhurhur… HW… you know what I mean…) When Lian comes she’ll be my nakama in photo-taking. She likes taking photos too. She also likes to eat meat (and it is at this point that I said) but I’m sure I can convince her to ‘share leh, share’ food with me (from the – hopefully – onz form eateries that I have found). Whew.

I have been watching this anime about bread-making called Yakitate and it has made me gian bread. I had my bagel yesterday and a croissant today. The croissant was cho oishii!!! I wonder if it’s anywhere near the Super Vapour Action 648-or something croissant that Suwabara baked in the show. He tried to out-do Azuma Kazuma’s 324 layer croissant. Thing is, I remember when I was learning about Rough puff/Filo pastries in school, the teacher mentioned that it didn’t matter going beyond a certain number of layers because after that you just can’t taste the difference anymore (so it’s just wasting effort folding the dough once more). And so, what’s with the 648 layers??? Don’t tell me the screenwriter/manga artist didn’t do his homework???

Anyway, just for my info, you know how you can eat beef rare or medium rare but not for pork? What about lamb? Lemme know so I don’t get food poisoning, ok?

Ok, I shall try to do some work now… lazy me...

I'm putting in more effort now! (Dunno if this will last though.) Had a bagel while watching Superband yesterday. Here's a close up pic of it.

The Bagel of course, not Superband or yesterday.

I've almost forgotten how much I love food. Almost.
I’ve told this story before but anyways, there was once we were planning what to eat in Malaysia (so many possibilities, so little time) and JY asked, “Do you like stingray? There’s this place (she proceeded to describe how cho oishii the stingray at some place is).”
“Yah, yah! I like… let’s go, let’s go.” I thought… Oh God, MUST GO! MUST GO!
“What about Food B (another food, forgot what)?”
“Yah! I like. I cho onz Food B one!” Then she described the Food B at some place and it sounded cho cho cho oishii. I thought, cho onz, must go!
“Oh, I dunno if you like Food C leh. Do you eat Food C one? Cos there’s this place… (oishii description again)”
“Of course… I LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Aiyah, should have known, no need to ask you, you everything also like.”
Yes, I EVERYTHING ALSO LIKE!!!!!!! As long as it’s OISHII!!! When it comes to food, I am adventurous and I AM GREEDY. I am the original Greedy Liew, ok?

But that episode with JY was eons ago and since coming to the UK, I sometimes forget how enthusiastic I am for food, both eating and cooking. There were times I couldn’t even be bothered to walk, what, twenty steps to the kitchen. The problem might be that I have to share the kitchen with seven other people and I hate people looking at me do stuff, even if they are not actually watching. God, I’m weird. But not like I dunno… hurhurhur… I just want absolute privacy even when I’m cooking lor (there are exceptions lah, ok). Sighs… I used to bake so often! Even when I was in Japan I took care to cook properly! Now I only ‘cook properly’ occasionally.
Another thing is, I only like to eat oishii food and if it’s average or what then to me it’s wasting calories. Then it becomes food for subsistence. Not to say I turn my nose up at them. Generally I live to eat but sometimes I eat to live too. And sad to say, there's hardly any oishii home-cooking here.
I so miss my Mom’s 糖水!!! I miss my Mom’s cooking!!! I know, everybody will say like, Oh their Mom can cook so well blah, blah (ok, not some of you but you know, The Public, in general)… but I don’t usually, really believe them lor. However, I believe that my Mom’s 糖水 is really onz lor!!! And her 卤鸭 too! And her Chicken Curry if she doesn’t try to be funny (healthy?) and replace the coconut milk with this or that.
Ok, my list of things to eat back in Singapore is now at number 27. I know that’s not a lot of food because I don’t miss many things, just 27 (up till now). Because like for example 烧腊, the Four Seasons (not hotel) in London is damn good, so no need to wait for Singapore. Although for things like Dim Sum, although you can get good Dim Sum here but it’s so much cheaper and in abundance in Singapore. So yeah, Dim Sum is on my list. What else? Qi Ji’s Popiah!!! And Jap food… the Jap food here sucks. No, I suppose the good ones are damn ex, like Nobu for example, so I haven’t tried them.

Oh, I’m having porridge tonight! I miss my Grandma’s porridge but she hasn’t been cooking it (during CNY) for many years now. Too mafan. When I go back to Singapore I’m gonna have her teach me (again) her 粽子 which are like… The Best. I will write down every step from step one to step n. And I will ask if she can teach me how to make 角仔… though I’m not really a fan of 角仔 but everybody else seem to like them so ok lah, I (I’m pointing to myself now) shall 牺牲小我啦！
My babysitter or 奶妈 said that it’s not good to stop making CNY goodies once you’ve started. It’s like a tradition or something and if you stop then its bad… bad luck or bad something. I dunno… on some years I bake CNY cookies but on some years I don’t leh. Maybe I should do it consistently from now on… or at least when I take over the 角仔 making.

My paternal Grandma or 奶奶 who passed away when I was ten used to make very onz 鸡酒 and 客家酿豆腐. But HOW FOOLISH!!!! My aunties never bothered to learn them properly!!! And now whenever any one of them attempt to replicate 奶奶’s taste? CANNOT MAKE IT LOR!!!!!!!!!!!! And the others (and sometimes the cook herself) will say ‘Mm Qi Ee Meh Ge’ (dun taste like what my Grandma used to make). Of course Mm Qi lor… you never put in the effort to learn, where got can make it? A pity I was too young, I don’t even remember what my 奶奶’s food taste like. Ok lah, but to my aunts’ credit they can cook pretty well too lah (when they are in the mood).




Why oh why did the moth fly into my room and how did it come in? I’ve kept my windows shut for the longest time. Anyway, I need to buy another bottle of insecticide. I could tell the moth was in agony, fluttering its wings but unable to fly. The only thing I could do was to squish it in a plastic bag, so at least it dies fast. But not without taking this pic first.

I lost one day! Today is Saturday but I thought it's Friday. Woke up, logged into gmail, no emails. Friday, how can be no emails? Double checked with Miffy, God, it's Saturday! No wonder. And yesterday, I spent the day thinking it was Thursday. So this shows what? Shows I'm having such a good time lazing around that my days fly me by!!! Better start doing work. Soon.

P-CHAN FORGIVES BUT NOT FORGET

P-chan found his slippers by his bedside every morning. Even if he had left them by the door, in the kitchen or under the T.V. the night before, he’d find them placed neatly perpendicular to his bed at the hour of six every morning.

One night, on a full moon that hung barley white against the purple sky, he hid his left slipper in the washing machine, and his right slipper behind the couch. But in the morning, there they were as usual, looking a little squashed but roll-called to their rightful place.

It was PP-chan who put them there and P-chan found comfort in that. He could busy his mind over other things now that his slippers were taken care of. All he had to do each morning was to swing both feet off his bed and he’d feel the soft, furry cotton, in which he’d slip both his feet.

But P-chan wasn’t sure why PP-chan was so nice. PP-chan might simply be kind. Or, PP-chan might have motives. Or... Who knew? P-chan didn’t know. The world is made up of all sorts. Still, it didn’t worry P-chan too much at that time. He didn’t have anything to lose.

But after a while, P-chan got scared. What if one day he found pins in his slippers? What if one day PP-chan stops bringing him his slippers? P-chan worried his little head over it for a while but he wouldn’t let things like that bother him for long. He decided on what to do.

Next day, he woke as the orange sun broke past the horizon. But P-chan didn’t put his feet into his slippers. Instead, he walked around bare-footed. At first it was a little strange; the ground was cold below his tender soles. P-chan also felt that he owed it to PP-chan, for having made the effort. But he knew he couldn’t give up just because.

After a few days, P-chan got used to being bare-footed and the slippers and what PP-chan was doing didn’t bother him at all. P-chan finally freed himself from the slippers. Soon after, even PP-chan stopped picking up after P-chan. P-chan could forgive PP-chan for the anxiety he had caused. He could even forgive himself for the paranoia. But P-chan could never forget this story of the slippers he once had by his bed.



Narrator: Me
Characters: P-chan & PP-chan

可爱的3P-CHAN

3P-chan总是用尽全力
即使在迷宫里遇到墙脚，他也还是会奋力地冲过去。即使头已爆开，他也还是会带着微笑说再式一次。即使亡命天涯，溺死海角他也还是会继续找寻他的宝藏，追寻他的幸福。不要怪他，他也只是执著，只是坚持。

3P-chan总是用清太深。
区区一盒漂亮的法国烘饼就能让他朝思暮想。送礼人是心机很重的猪樣。受礼人是风流倜傥的Mr. M。兴奋与气愤的却是3P-chan。是送礼人，受礼人，还是3P-chan自己搞出的一个局面？

3P-chan总是闷闷不乐。
天移地动，海枯石烂，3P-chan以不变应万变。


3P-chan 是个让人看不出他的好的好人。是个让人看不出他的坏的坏人。



Narrator: Me
Characters: 3P-chan, 猪樣 & Mr.M

I wanna watch Superman Returns!!! I don't care, don't care, don't care!!!
(Yah, like who say I cannot watch, right? Siao!)

Superman reminds me of Christopher Reeves! He is so onz and shuai!!! I wanna watch Somewhere In Time again!!! I don't care, don't care, don't care!!!
(Hehheh, ok, enough is enough.)



Kitty Kuek Kis Kawaii!
(Okaaaaayyy... STOP IT!!!!!!!)

It's one of those days where i feel like this woman.



Or maybe i've yet to dine at this restaurant hence causing my turmoil...

FARMERS

PP-chan plants strawberries in his garden. He is an alright strawberry farmer, just alright. His strawberries are plump and juicy but not exceptionally big or red.
PP-chan grows very good aubergines though he hasn't been planting them for over three years. The aubergines that PP-chan grew were delicious. When I wanted to try my hand at planting aubergines a year ago, he taught me how. And yes, my aubergines grew shiny into a deep hue of violet. Happie!

Last night, bending over his little strawberry plot, PP-chan told me that he might just start growing aubergine again. Why not? I said. Cause he’s good at it. But it wasn’t so simple to PP-chan. He confessed that the smell of aubergines made him itch.
When he grew aubergines three years ago, he couldn’t sleep from the itch and the first thing that came crashing into his wakeful reality every morning was the itch. He itched when he walked, itched when he talked, itched when he was alone and itched when he was with friends. Now that he had shaken it off, he didn’t want to itch again but he wanted to own a plot of blooming aubergines again – for the market place. Because the market place didn’t like his strawberries… they said his heart wasn’t in it when he grew them so they just didn’t work.
At this point, PP-chan gave a :( expression.
He said whether his heart was in it or not the strawberries just grew the same way. And they were not all that bad, were they? I shook my head but didn’t say anything. To tell the truth, I had never bought PP-chan’s strawberries because 3P-chan grew them better and sold them cheaper.

Then I told PP-chan, why don’t you just grow the aubergines and put up with the itch?

PP-chan agreed. Perhaps the itch isn't something that he cannot put up with. Afterall, sometimes when he saw how healthy his aubergines were growing, he even forgot about his itch for several hours! Besides, in time to come, he may grow numb to the itch and accept it. In time to come, a special medicine may be invented to combat his itch.

3P-chan came and asked what we were talking about. I told him. He told PP-chan that nothing was worth the itch. If it were him, he’d live his life as itchlessly as possible.

But 3P-chan is 3P-chan and I am I and we all have different opinions. So it really doesn’t matter what we think.

我們也只不過是PP-chan生命的過客。PP-chan的故事，對我們來說也只是收音機播放的另一首歌罷了。



Narrator: P-chan
Characters: PP-chan & 3P-chan

I am not one who makes a fuss out of nothing. So this morning when I got out of bed and stepped on a moth, I only wrapped it – tight – in a piece of tissue and dumped it into my bin. The moth was half dead, possibly the after effects from my insecticide spraying spree last night. I only quietly hoped that it wasn't my grandfather or grandmother visiting. Today's not my birthday, their death day, Qing Ming or the seventh month. Shouldn't have been them.

I am trying to win WW for the most-posts-in-one-day award... cos the last three posts were all posted today (although the Singapore time setting shows it as two separate days).

MIPPI-CHAN, BALDING

So, P-chan is balding.
I looked at his photo and sort of laughed - inwardly. But when PP-chan verbalised it and said, ‘They keep making fun of P-chan because he is balding.’ My inward laugh crystallized into a sound. Heehee!
Actually, I am also balding. Shit. Though I think my situation is not as bad as P-chan’s. He’s donning a cap to hide the spot now. Hurhur… spot. Hurhur… no wonder must always wear cap.
He has PPP-chan defending him, saying all sorts of rubbish in good humour. What was it that PPP-chan said? I’m sure PP-chan told me but I forgot.
Something about… something about… getting in touch with his sensitive side or some crappy stuff. And that was quite well received. PPP-chan has her ways, she does. Good ways they are though. I mean, I wouldn’t be bothered to defend P-chan even if my life depended on it… well, only if my life depended on it.
PP-chan would, of course, but I wouldn’t. PP-chan and PPP-chan thinks P-chan wouldn’t look that bad even if he really goes bald as an egg. Harhar! Alright, to their credit, that’s rather the truth.

I shall go have a Yakult now.




Narrator: MiPPi-chan
Characters: P-chan, PP-chan & PPP-chan

I really wanna clean up my room but must wait until after my submission on the 26th June... I really wanna do laundry... but must wait.






See, so messy... cannot make it.

這幾天天氣開始炎熱，春天還未坐暖就已聞到夏天的風。
我隨著烈陽活了起來。不愧是熱帶島嶼之女啊，怎麽我從來沒有察覺到？

離回家的日子越來越近，我是及期待又怕受傷害。不是不想離開，而是為回國后的未來而心慌。什麽時候起，未來竟然變得有點可怕？
飄忽不定的可怕，永久安居的可怕。我一直都在擔心。一直都執著，想要步上最完美的道路。我卻弄不清楚什麽是完美。

如王菲所唱：我試圖接近幸福，但什麽是幸福？我概念模糊。

矛盾的我要到什麽時候才能開竅啊？什麽時候才能真正了解‘It’s my life’這道理？

無論如何，要感謝家人和朋友。

HAMUJIRO TEACHES P-CHAN ABOUT COURAGE

P-chan is freaking out because he read somewhere that you got to THINK before you TAKE ACTION and be PREPARED to face the CONSEQUENCES.
Think he did not do but action he did take. Prepared he is not but consequences there are.

P-chan looks at his pet hamster Hamujiro and wishes for some courage from him. But Hamujiro only hobbles around giving P-chan a nonchalant stare. P-chan lowers his head and shakes it in despair.

P-chan remembers the time when he was as small as Hamujiro and he too could stay in little cage and run on a little wheel everyday. Bliss. P-chan wants to be Hamujiro because P-chan loves Hamujiro and sometimes when he loves Hamujiro so much he wants to become Hamujiro.
Also, Hamujiro is so tiny. Hamujiro is so tiny that all his tiny brain can contain are minuscule worries. P-chan can, with a clenched fist, crush all of Hamujiro’s worries for him! Hamujiro is a loved and protected hamuhamu.

P-chan closes his eyes and dream. In his dream, P-chan is Hamujiro. He behaves Hamujiro and does all Hamujiro things.

P-chan wakes up drenched in cold sweat from scalp to toe.




Narrator: Me
Characters: P-chan & Hamujiro
Guest starring: Hamujiro

FYI: This P-chan story is not linked to the previous P-chan story.

PP-CHAN GRADUATES

P-chan is attending his friend, PP-chan’s convocation next Friday. He is happy for PP-chan because how often do you graduate? This is PP-chan’s first. I mean, I’d be happy if I were him.
PP-chan will go on stage, shake hands with some big shot guy, take the baton, bow to audience and float off stage. Easy-peasy.
But P-chan worries unnecessarily and prays that PP-chan doesn’t PUA TOU as 3P-chan said he will. SURE PUA TOU, 3P-chan prophesized.
PP-chan, PUA TOU? Nah… he is damn relaxed, he’s gonna saunter up and saunter down. Easy-peasy.

PP-chan has his future before him now. PP-chan can do whatever he wants to do. PP-chan can look for a job here, there or anywhere he wants. PP-chan 長大了！P-chan looks at PP-chan and thinks, everything has changed but nothing has changed.
P-chan 是個傻子。PP-chan 也是個傻子。But in different ways.

PP-chan will always have happiness because PP-chan is well-adjusted and so is his friend 4P-chan. I hope 3P-chan can find happiness too. And soon.

お幸せにPPちゃん！あんたのこと見守ってるよ！Pちゃんはそう言っていた。



The adventures of P-chan is a new thing that I’m doing… for… fun.
Narrator is ME. Characters P-chan, PP-chan, 3P-chan and 4P-chan. For now.

Firstly, Kuma is a turtle, see! Then, have a cup of coffee.

And don't go blind reading this:

01. I know all the words to 'I'm a barbie girl.' (NO: So off form, of cos not!)
02. I'm obsessed with high heels. (NO: I like-y… but not an obsession.)
03. I'm the youngest child. (YES: hohoho… thank god!)
04. I am a shopoholic. (NO: economically handicapped)
05. I love hoop earrings. (YES: I love a lot of things.)
06. I am a virgo. (YES: Moon sign)
07. I love beer. (NO)
08. I can't live without lip gloss. (NO: lip balm more like it.)
09. I can't live without music. (duh…)
10. I lived in Purgatory for 3 months. (NO: my misery visits fortnightly.)
11. I spend money I don't have. (NO)
12. I'll be in college forever. (NO)
13. I've seen Jason Mraz. (YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! I started on this just so I can put a resounding YESSSSS!!!!!!! here.)
14. I get annoyed easily. (YES: I think I do.)
15. I eventually want kids. (YES)
16. I have more then a couple of horrible memories. (NO: Just a couple.)
17. I am addicted to Lizzie McGuire. (huh… wahlao… NO.)
18. I am a person. (YES)
19. I start film school in February. (NO: but my birthday is in February.)

20. I love the rain. (YES)
21. I love taking pictures. (YES: on both sides of the lens.)
22. I LUV girls who are fake. (NO: I HATE!)
23. I can be mean when I want to. (YES: Mean is me.)
24. My dreams are bizarre. (NO)
25. One of my close friends is gay. (NO)
26. I have way too many purses. (NO: I want more.)
27. I've seen 'Fight Club' at least 45 times. (NO: Only once during a sleepover at XY’s house, WH was around too and we didn’t really concentrate.)
28. I usually dress how I feel that day.(YES: usually)
29. I love 'Sex and the City'. (YES)
30. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason. (NO: there’s usually a reason.)
31. I hate when people are late Or too damn early. (YES: I don’t care if they’re early as long as I’m not with the person who likes to be early and kena have to wait for the others who are sure to be late. Wahlao… I have a lot of experience with people being late, I can write an essay on this. All sorts of ridiculous people in this world… and I'm not even thinking about JY/WH/Wei - hahahahhaha... okok, you on time er... nowadays...)
32. I procrastinate. (YES)
33. I love winter. (NO: but I don’t hate.)
34. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser. (NO: no leh… I need more!!!)
35. I love to sleep. (YES)
36. I wish I were smarter. (YES)
37. I'm afraid of flying. (NO: when landing and wheels touch ground, I do enjoy the velocity. I do pray that we don’t hit anything.)
38. I love singing. (duh!!!)
39. I am addicted to 'The O.C.' (NO: ‘was’ and only for the first season.)
40. I love my hair. (YES: but not always the style and condition of hair.)
41. I never fight with my parents. (NO: never say never but seldom or hardly.)
42. I love the beach. (YES: the sea! I don’t like mountains and jungles etc.)
43. I have never had the chicken pox. (NO: Had it in P5.)

44. I'm excited for the future. (YES)
45. I can't control my emotions. (YES: more and more so.)
46. I can't wait till New Year's. (YES: I’ll be home!)

47. I love the show 'Rich Girls'. (NO: never even heard of it.)
48. I love my friends. (YES: to varying degrees of course.)
49. Christmas is my favorite holiday. (NO: CNY.)

50. I can be very insecure sometimes. (YES: I think everyone can be.)
53. I hate my computer. (NO!!!!!!!! I love Miffy and Baby!!!!!)
54. I love guys that play the guitar. (NO: not say play guitar then onz lor…)
55. I state the obvious. (NO: I don’t say anything.)
57. I love to dance. (NO: it’s not love.)
59. I hate cleaning my room. (NO: sometimes – but seldom – I like even.)
60. I tend to get jealous easily. (NO: only for things that matter.)
61. I love cute underwear. (YES)
62. I love John Mayer. (NO)
63. I cry when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused. (NO: not all the time.)
64. I want to go to Greece. (YES)
65. I don't like to study for tests. (NO: I don't... this yes/no is getting confusing.)
67. I am too forgiving. (YES & NO)
68. I have a horrible sense of direction. (NO: not great at navigating but not to the extent of horrible.)
69. I love high school. (YES: the whole idea of it.)

70. I have a talent of sweet-talking my way out of things. (NO)

71. I'm a daddy's girl. (NO: but I comply.)

72. I love kisses on the forehead. (NO: but I don’t hate.)
73. I love the color pink. (NO: I love the colour blue.)
74. I love to sew. (NO!!!!!!!!!!!)
75. I have blue eyes. (NO)
76. I love the Olsen Twins. (huh? Oh! NO)
77. I played soccer for 14 years. (Siao! NO)

78. I become stressed easily. (NO)
79. I HATE liars. (NO: I is One… hahahahahaha!!!)
80. I like comfy sweatpants. (YES: I like a lot of things.)
82. I love the smell of asphalt after it's rained. (NO: not particularly. I like the salty smell of sea.)
83. I love my family. (duh!)
84. I hate needles. (NO)
85. I am a perfectionist. (NO)
86. I always wanted to learn to play the drums. (NO: but I don’t mind learning.)
87. I love to dream and fantasize. (DUNNO: I’m delusional so although I like to, I kinda wish I could do it less.)
88. I would love to have my own fashion line. (YES: why wouldn’t I love such a thing?)

89. I can be quite selfish. (YES: but I don't think I'm special in this sense.)
90. I still act like a little kid sometimes. (YES: I guess… not sure what acting like a little kid is leh… Childish I am not. Child-like I am. Hohohoho!!!)
91. I despise dishonesty. (NO: depends on the subject matter.)
92. I love pictures. (YES: photographs.)

93. I love music. (eh… recurring question…)
94. I wish I were more motivated when it comes to school. (YES)
95. I love getting stuff in the mail. (YES)

97. I hate the feeling of being lonely. (YES: my boggart)
99. I hate the fact that i wear size 5 jeans. (DUNNO but I don’t hate my jeans size leh! Hurhurhurhur!!!)
100. I've never watched "Sex and the City" and I don't really care if I do. (NO: Already said I like it what! YES: I care that I’ve watched it cos I like-y it!!!)
101. I really don't want to add three things to this list. (NO: I don’t mind but I’m not going to.)
103. I love Harry Potter. (YES: the book and the boy!)
104. I am patient, to a point. (YES: wahlao… to a point… ok, yeah…)
105. I like bunnies. (NO! evil and sneaky they are.)

106. I often don't think before I speak and then regret it. (NO: I think, but there’s still room for regret.)

107. I love summer. (YES: watermelons.)
108. I miss my friends who I haven't seen for a while. (YES)
109. I like the feeling of sneezing. (NO)
110. The thought of special brownies make me giggle. (NO: what special brownies? Like V-day 告白 kinda thing?)
111. Sometimes I actually enjoy school but other times I just want it all to stop. (YES: a very general statement.)
112. I work at a convenience store and strongly dislike it. (NO: sounds fun leh!)

115. I like lord of the rings. (YES: You can use the word ‘love’ here.)
121. I’m an azn kid HELL YEAH! REPRESENT. hahah.. Oh, I'm going to get shot. (NO: what’s azn? Clearly not my generation. Wah… this thing is long…)
122. I like to watch movies that make you cry. (YES)
123. I love playing in the rain. (NO)
124. I’ve watched a porn. (YES)
126. People that shove religion down my throat bother me. (YES)
127. I miss my home of nine years. (YES: 21 years!)
130. I need a life. (apparently YES)

131. I love roller coasters. (YES)
132. I am scared of heights. (YES: but just a little.)

133. My nails are painted pink. (NO: three days ago, yes.)
136. I am in LOVE with Johnny Depp's eyes. (YES: and not just his eyes.)
137. I'm a hopeless romantic. (NO: I can be very rational.)
140. I get into trouble at least 3 times a week for stupid shit. (hahahhahahahaaa!!! So poor thing… but NO.)
141. I have never gotten straight A's. (NO: I think not… oh, in primary school yes lah! YES.)
143. Olives are my favorite! (NO: but I quite like.)

144. Kittens make me happy. (NO: not so easy.)
146. I am a supervisor at an amusement park. (Eh??? NO)

149. I have more than one favorite color. (NO)

150. The end of 'Big Fish' made me cry. (YES)
159. The Notebook is the saddest movie. (NO: 新不了情)
160. I'm gangsta. (NO… hehhehheh… I wish!)
176. I am cold. (NO: the radiator is back on and today is damn sunny!)
177. I have a boxer dog. (NO: I have no dog :( )

178. I wish I had green/blue eyes. (NO)

180. I love japanese food. (YES)
181. I failed my piano exam. (NO: all pass but still play like shit.)

My 'yes(s) and no(s)' are a mess... puke puke puke...

Nice view from my room :)
I have to do this... 哦 狼牙月 伊人憔悴 我举杯 饮尽了风雪...
Tonight's moon is even more 狼牙！！！

Like today lor... today I went shopping. Still got a few things that didn't make it into the picture. Hohoho... wahlao... I need the retail therapy lor!!!

This was some time ago... wahlao... I have no iron and some of my clothes get damn crumpled and ugly... boohoohoo... but I still wear! Sonomama de... I am the lair-fair uni student... boohoohoo...

Dunno how come this pic came out so tiny... but the ducklings are kawaii... (click on the pic to see them clearly)

PLEASE HELP ME CHECK HOW MUCH THIS PAIR OF SHOES COST IN SINGAPORE TOPSHOP! VERY GIAN! THANKS!

Aiyoh... the pictures are all barabara...
Buruburuburuburuburuburuburuburu... I am Buru-buru Doggu... It has been damn cold in my room cos they switched off the (central) radiator so now (indoors) it feels even colder than winter! I wish I have my Japan Dian4 Tan3... my hands and feet feels damn cold now... buruburu... it's damn cold when I sleep even though I have a thick duvet, I have to contort my legs into awkward positions to keep my feet warm... buruburu. I am so Can3!!! When I tell a joke, nobody laughs!!! (Hehehehheeeehehhee... Leng3 Xiao4 Hua4 mah!!!)

Ok, that's all for today! Alot of work and zero motivation.

文字文字文字。密密麻麻地，整整齊齊地，操練在熒光屏上。流着汗水的文字，多麽努力的文字，是我的，我的孩子，我卻對他們沒什麽感覺。我平日的歇斯底里掩蓋着無動於衷。

我擅于表現的無動於衷只會出現在歇斯底里的時候。

*NANA向大家招手哦！嗨！！！*

******

對於不知道的人可能會覺得莫名其妙，可是我自命英明地想到了一些東西，如下：

創作是需要理由的。 聼我説下去。

他相信所以他創作。
他沉淪所以他創作。
他瘋癲所以他創作。


大家都需要一些理由。告訴我，你想做哪一個他？

不能不明不白。

The internet at my hall has been a little sort sort dei but miraculously, HK Radio 903 played through the night! Felt nice waking up to live voices, made me feel happy enough to go back to sleep.
Good choice of Chinese songs on 903 this morning (their evening)… I want their songlist! Only caught one song title: 小美人 by 旺福樂團. Anyone has that song?

My messy room is totally spoiling my Fengshui therefore, today I am gonna pack! I am so clean! I am sacrificing time to pack my room instead of writing my essay leh!!! Heehee…

******

Sometimes I think I go through life without knowing what’s going on although I do try to get a grip on things. It’s because I take myself too seriously and ask to be taken too seriously too. I behave like I’ve so-thought-it-through but I haven’t lor… maybe I couldn’t admit that I am flippant and moody. I end up being a little 后知后觉 amongst other things. But well, now I say yes I am - flippant and moody.
So I'm gonna start taking myself a lot less seriously from now on. And egg people on to take me less seriously. Like, when I say I think you are damn off lah, I don’t really mean it. Or, I might have meant it when I said it (or not) but how I feel won’t last forever. I may have changed my mind (or not). So don’t believe what I say a hundred percent. I may (or may not) believe myself totally also. So what I’ve just said, maybe don’t believe also.

******

DUH!!!

Aiyoh… dunno what I’m writing… hahaha… (seriously, there are too many seriouslies lor~) I typed the above five days ago but since all my 乖孩子 have been updating their blogs, I thought I shouldn’t let things stagnate for too long here. This is one of those ‘today I went to the supermarket’ blogs.

Recently I’ve been having mood swings… Woohoo! Up, down and the whole way round! Siao… But I haven’t given up! I’m still thankful to be alive! I have goals in life and the very living, breathing me is given the chance to make my way towards them! Today is 12th May 2006 (gulp!) but shall leave the date as five days ago since the bulk of this blog was written then.

Eh... I cannot edit the date leh...

我把这张相片放上了电脑荧幕，当壁纸。
我在电脑前呆坐了一个下午。
我看着我看着猫看着门。

我有这么好看吗？
猫有这么好看吗？
门有这么好看吗？

其实也只是因为。。。



我把这张相片放上了电脑荧幕，当壁纸。

人的身体里是否真的有个时钟？
0700 起床
0730 早餐
0900 开工
1200 午餐 等等。

是否是 ，很自然地，
0岁出世
1岁说话，走路
12岁来月经
25岁生孩子？？？

因为，25岁的我突然想当妈妈。

*cue婴儿号啕大哭之声*

这是个荒谬的发想，因为我离金钱与婚姻都太遥远，现时不可能当上妈妈。大自然的原理之一：人是为了传宗接代而存在的。如果这是千真万确的，那我现在的感觉可以归就于它。25岁，母性泛滥。我的身体是顺着这个原理在运作。笨蛋的身体，还好脑子是聪明又前卫的。生孩子嘛，你说25岁好我就25岁生吗？有那么简单？

写到这里都有点不想生了。


人家卢巧音都还没生！

很想當媽媽
曲：凱文 詞：陳少

用了過份臂力 雙手攬緊你
用了過份努力 不鬆一口氣
願永遠 日夜一起

# 被你攝入鏡內 畫面多優美
共你躺在雪地 高飛不喘氣
而但我怕 樂極生悲
我倆可相對 亦會 永遠失去
我要保管你 在我的身軀 #

* 很想當媽媽 我不理代價
手中的娃娃 會將愛淨化
動靜亦是像你吧
在每夜伴著入睡 讓我表演結他
很想當媽媽 買一隻木馬
哭聲怎喧嘩 我不會害怕
面目亦是像你吧
逐漸逐漸讓我不怕
愛戀的氧化

讓我抱著抱著再看迪斯尼
讓我吻著吻著小小的手臂
而像與你 日夜一起
Repeat #
很想當媽媽 買一隻木馬
哭聲怎喧嘩 我不會害怕
面目亦是像你吧
逐漸逐漸讓我感覺 那身體變化 Repeat *

You go first!!!

You go first!!! Dozo!!!