ENGLISH OF TOMORROW

EU ANNOUNCEMENT

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

I was paying for my shopping when the sales girl asked, “How did you do your lips? It’s very nice!”

Pleased but baffled, I took out my lip gloss.

“I use this. My friend got it for me. It’s from Victoria’s Secret.” Certainly this lip gloss was nice with a sweet smell and taste but it had never been stunning, in fact, it was almost sheer. My wrong, from now on, ‘it’s very nice’! Heh heh heh!

I wanted to see how ‘very nice’ they were and make sure I do them the ‘very nice’ way again so once I got out of the shop, I ducked into a washroom.

Okkkkkkkkaaaaaayyy…

Thanks to the orange and carrot juice I had from The Fruity Juice Co., my lips were tinged a mild vermillion.

Okkkkkkkkaaaaaayyy…

But I have to say, the colour was quite nice! I am such a leader in the world of cosmetics. I hereby declare that the era of natural cosmetics has arrived.

Feeling sleepy at work and wishing that i can be out at the beach in the shade reading a good book and snoozing. Or shopping at Orchard stretch and taking smoke breaks and coffee in between.

Sadly, i'm confined in my office, tanning under the flourescent light, enjoying the aircon breeze and drinking copious amounts of 3-in-1 coffee. Yawn.

The only consolation is receiving my pay cheque every month but sometimes, the numbers seem so... insignificiant and "Isnt my time worth more than THIS?" would flit across my mind. And then i remember that i'm supposed to be at the age where i've to work hard.

Work hard at waking up early to sqeeze on public transport in order to reach work on time. Work hard at taking instructions and seeing when is the right time to approach your boss to report. Work hard at juggling office politics so as not to get stabbed in the back. Work hard at looking busy when your mind is at the beach. Work hard at day-dreaming about owning your company so that you don't have to work hard anymore.

Am i the only hamster in the rat race?

It had occurred most often while I was trimming my nails. A dislodged piece would fall out from the nail clipper into the Land of the Lost & Found. I remember losing other things, erasers, coins, mostly small things, a few big things.

The door to the Land of the Lost & Found opens and closes on earth everyday to varying degrees but always when you least expect it. Yesterday, I was coiling the wires of my hairdryer, as I tried to secure it with the (what do you call it) metal twist, it slipped my fingers. The metal twist ricocheted off my right foot before it fell to the ground. But it wasn’t round like a ball so it couldn’t have bounced or rolled far. I assessed every possible angle but no, it wasn’t there. Fact is it wasn’t in my room anymore. It had fallen into the deep dark hole that is the entrance to the Land of the Lost & Found.

And so I realized that the Door had opened last night right here in my room, possibly just a centimeter from where I was standing. Had I moved that little bit, dipped my toe in and lost balance, I will not be here now, typing, telling you this. I should then be in the Land of the Lost & Found, finding what I’ve lost over the years and getting myself lost in the labyrinth of things. Aren’t you curious to see the Land of the Lost & Found?

Aren’t you curious to know who you might see in the Land of the Lost & Found?


*Shiver*


(We’ve lost our chatterbox too!)

I'm very much a dog person but was lunching at First Thai (Purvis Street) the other day and spotted this bundle of fur below my table.



The cat was so relaxed, so at ease, so... trusting. For someone who finds it difficult to fall asleep even in my own bed at night (God knows what bad things I've done!!!), the ability to fall asleep just like that is... a miracle.

Oh well... perhaps miracles come in other packages for me, like my nieces.


Any resemblance?


Any resemblance?



Forgot to wrestle my nephews into a few shots... oh well... I shall safe the torture for next time then... hehhehheh...

To tell you the truth (actually, evidently), I haven't been in the mood to blog for a long time... but then here I am, putting in this non-commital blog entry... oh well... better mood next week. I've made my new year resolutions. Three.

conclusion,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know!!! I've long promised Wei to update on our gatherings here... anyways, ta da... three light years ago...


The COME BACK HOME BBQ

As usual, some people were working hard - us sacrificial souls - and others, just eating... you gluttons! Everyone looking fantastic sans make-up... yeah rite...





The HIGH TEA

Was a combine celebration of Ming and JY's birthday... a pity only four of us made it. Jane was abroad and we really couldn't put it off any longer (us busy people... we already rescheduled twice) and WH had cramps... Anyhow, it was quite fun! Alot of talking as usual...





The BIG-O

Starring Spike-D!!! Our long, lost friend!!! This was breakfast at Big-O on a Saturday. Enjoyable! Alot of talking as usual... duh...
JY wields her fork like a knife and cuts her Spike-D with clean and sharp strokes while I fumble with as if eating with a baseball bat. Booohooo... (the picture sizes are not in sync here... gomen, have got no time to photoshop)





More updates next week... will be having steamboat at Jane's!!!! YAY!!!!

Till then!

Remember to watch PSSII on Wednesday (8pm) and yes, if you have loose change or money to spare, vote for the person you deem fit to become the next Superstar (don’t scrimp and save to vote, don’t go on a diet to vote, don’t steal money to vote).

I do not advocate hard-sell to sway your votes because people vote for all sorts of reasons (funny, random, sometimes irrelevant). Some people think the next Superstar has to sing well, some think he/she has to be a looker, some people vote because their friends are voting and some vote for the contestant that looks like his mom/ex-gf/gf/pri-sch-teacher. I remember there was a mad fan of Vivian Chow tens of years ago who only became a mad fan because he claimed he had dreamed of her long before she debuted, she is literally the girl of his dreams.

To me, a huge pre-requisite for my votes would be, a different voice and good singing technique. Because the next winner will be given the opportunity to shine and I wouldn’t give that chance to a lacklustre contestant. But then voice brings you only that far, it is skill –your voice control, the areas of resonance, the colours and emotions you give to the song – that runs the distance and delivers the punch.

In Taiwan, cutesy lookers grow on trees (and theirs are somehow always cuter than ours) so when it comes to PSSII, I wouldn’t put my money into 'one-of-those' so likely booted from (if not the competition) the industry even while I'm shopping for my next pair of shoes. If I’m going to be putting good blood-sweat-and-tears money into the pockets of Mediacorp and whoever owns the 1900-lines, the contestant must be someone duly prepared for show business – in other words, someone who possesses the elusive X-factor.

Which brings me back to the singing.

Because only a confident singer can have the X-factor and only a good singer can be confident on stage (any less and he/she becomes delusional/idiotic). And we all know that confidence is beauty (so there you have it, the looks part). It is only when you know you have the necessary technique that you can put focus in the performance and not be worrying about your flat notes when you really should be looking at the camera.

In this case, it is just plainly so.

Tomorrow night. I will be voting for Carrie (F4: Yang Jiaying). Whether you are voting for her, for someone else or not at all, I urge you to take a look at her performance. Because then, I think, you’ll really get what I’m trying to say.

Conclusion.

而我決定了 在貓的眼睛上 旅行

– 方文山，唸一首詩給你聼 [關於方文山の素顏韻腳詩]


是不是很漂亮？是不是有一種既簡單又浪漫，既真實又魔幻的感覺？
是不是今天的你也想來體驗一下？是否現在的你就要來想象一下？

睡吧，我們，來 做 夢。

Finally!!!



Finally, finally, finally, after the longest time, I got to perform again! This was at the D&D for a company that approached Ming and JY during SF2006. JY was missing because she’s not allowed to perform in public (but in private can… hahahaha. OMG, why do I think I’m gonna be the only one who finds this funny) so it was just Ming and me.

And… performing is still such a thrill. And the thrill is highly addictive, like the smell of my bolster, or like erm… I can’t think of another equivalent. There might have been some trepidation for the first minute or so, but after that, I was so tempted to stay on stage for as long as possible (perhaps until the organisers threaten to tie me up and drag me off). But I didn’t. Which was a good thing because I found Tiffany waiting for me off stage, she was invited to attend the D&D (something like this company is the partner company of her company).



There she was idling at one of the round tables of the banquet hall in the expensive Inter-Continental Hotel when the MC gave an (extremely boastful) intro about two girls who can sing in Mandarin, English and Japanese. Tiff thought, must be some 小歌星who only have one Japanese song in their repertoire. Up went the two 小歌星 and lo and behold, they are her friends ah!!! ARGH!!!

“They are my friends leh!” she told the person sitting beside her. The person was so unfazed.

Tiff and I chatted as Ming took to the stage on her own and Tiff agreed with me that Ming was super Dam Deng! Look how fantastic she was! So natural!



And me? I moved like a fish… learning how to walk. I know because we have the recording (it’s soooo private – locked up in Gringotts – so don’t even bother asking if you can see it). I wept while watching myself. But still, the moment on stage was pristine – the askew pitching and harmonising, those awkward limbs and distorted smiles, all clean forgotten.

And for a while, it was really just me and my voice. And you, of course!

Conclusion.

If I were a Mom, I probably can't say

"I wanna squeeze your neck till it is rubber band skinny, until your breath runs so thin you DIE!!!"

But now I can.

Anyway, today is a day with onz (non-murderous) plans!

The KTV business in Singapore must be getting more competitive these days. In the past it was just birthday cards, today, I received a Christmas card and with it a voucher for Chinese New Year.

The card titters a melody when opened, which is the norm, but they outdid themselves with a hot red glow on the words Merry Christmas. Music and illumination, what lethal combi! The voucher is valid from 17th Feb to 4th March 2007, a little too early to be sent out now. Or can it be that they actually know we’re so busy we plan our KTV sessions months in advance?

Anyway, I’ll be expecting my birthday card and voucher from them soon. Pamper me, Partyworld. Perks for the consumer means business for them. I will be utilising these vouchers.

It’s going to be pleasant days from now.

Sometimes I wonder why the hell I can’t sleep. I can never leave unscathed.

Those sleepless nights.

No matter. It’s going to be pleasant days from now.

Because there’s no point in brooding,

Was chatting with HW today and she said there must be Dementors around us. Yes. I suppose our world is also their playground and they wouldn’t mind giving us a poke or two just for fun.

Ha ha ha! Riddikulus! Ha ha ha!

And we win!


For those gloomy weeks, meet my refuge happy-lunch partners:

To the tune of “Lalalalala…” everybody sing “Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!”

YAY!!!

Saw from JY’s blog that Taka’s Christmas tree is up, so I made my way there with a very sporting H-san who took half of this picture.



And here is my very own tree.

We must have had this tree for nearly twenty years. While putting it up today, it struck me that all these years, my family has retained a very romantic idea about celebrations. Christmas, Chinese New Year, Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day and Birthdays, we love an excuse to celebrate!
I must be lucky because my friends too are into celebrating every damn thing! Well, life may not be all about celebration but this sure gives us another excuse to have some cake! v^o^

HW finally got to seal her Time Capsule and the key is dangling on somebody’s keychain. I can’t tell you who. I don’t want it to get opened prematurely. No spell has been cast on the Time Capsule.

WH's pictures and videos have yet to be sent to me so here are the pictures I took with my very fashionable new phone.

Introducing 小虾:
(你知道吗？名字里有蹊跷。)
(This pic is a little blurred because my digicam is running low on batt and is not focusing properly.)



And the wonderful pictures he’s capable of:






My favourite item in the Time Capsule is the Special Report. Different from the others, it’s created from scratch and took us more brain cells to complete.



Other items include an Initial D calendar chockfull of memorable events (some not so memorable, all the more we had to note them down), a CD filled with HW’s favourite songs (altho she couldn’t recognise some of them when we played it…), a VCD of HW in Italy clips (we played the VCD and the frozen moment was filled with, “Why is my voice so low?”, “Yucks! I hate my talking voice!”, “Don’t look! Don’t look!”, “Wahlao, I’m damn off form lor!” from me and JY who, thanks to HW, got our disgusting selves caught on clips and locked into the capsule as well), newspaper clips in Thailand from Wei (Wei, I thought this was very yasashii of you), letters from all of us, blog entries, emails, chat logs etc.

There’s a piece of every one of us in it and I thank God that deep down in my heart (and only deep down, it’s a different story on the superficial, because from day-to-day I am still in denial) I don’t try to forget the person I was(am) when I’m with you girls. I know I will cringe when the time comes to opening the Capsule, my monkey antics once again exposed, it might awaken an inner off form-ness in the future, better me (I will be better). Still, I bravely await the opening of the Capsule, all the time praying for good health. Because we’ve clocked too much mileage together, and to forget is to have amnesia.

In short, they were great!


And we were great!


I was less great...


Nothing much... only ate Chap Chai Peng...


They were greater than me.






I found myself at the Indoor Stadium, again.

Joining the North Entrance queue, I milled along with the familiar crowd – there were fans, non-fans, closet fans. Free ticket holders exuded a deliberate air of indifference, the ‘I’m only scratching, not picking my nose’ kind of way, if you get what I mean.

One clean, perforated rip later, I was inside. The familiar grey interior hadn’t aged a day while I was slightly lost in the carnival-like atmosphere. In the arena, noise atoms were on their quest to cover farther and wider. They collided, battled and engulfed new territory as soda cups stop short of bumping into one another. Cheers were saved for later.

You would know all the words to the song. I felt an unstoppable envy for your impending joy and anticipation. I knew that feeling. No tears, just a quivering chin, heart slamming in sync with a foreign vibration. Drama absorbed with shivering wonder.

That night, they didn’t drench the stadium with smoke, yet clarity could be just as exciting. And dream after dream, you would live out countless fantasies.

Yaho… that I’m home is no secret. That I’m looking for a job is expected… but why have I not been updating this blog? Well, no reason. Anyway, I haven’t said much about my HK trip so lemme share some of these good times in my life.


This is my fourth time in HK, so you must be thinking: Su must like HK a lot. Well, it’s true. I do.
This time round I stayed at XY’s place, which is really nicely done up and accessible by 电车，小巴and cab. Thereby giving XY the chance to live out the dream of being the 电车男’s mistress. Ooh, XY has unhygienic personal habits but well… at least the food in that area was good! 莲园糖水was just down the road, in the same area as 誉满坊 and 皇府。


For people who are thinking of eating at Happy Valley, 莲园sells good congee and noodles but what really left an impression on me was the 糖水especially the 姜汁番薯糖水。喝下口是一种凉凉辣辣的感觉，很刺激，很甜，很爽。
誉满坊serves exquisite DimSum. Take note though, that their 虾角烧卖叉烧包 – the mandatory triplets for DimSum – were but mediocre yet the 煎肠粉 and this other XX酥 (XY’s fav… ask her for the name) were 超好吃的！As was the 烧腊at皇府。Oh, on the topic of 超好吃，the egg tarts at Tai Cheong Bakery (泰昌饼家32 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central) were 超超超超超umaaaaaaaaiiiii~


I made friends with Auntie and Uncle aka Stephen’s parents who showed me how to take the tram and brought me Yum Cha at 潮Inn. Auntie brought me to 中环 to 看宾宾and to Wanchai Market on another day. I like old people but didn’t think I could communicate with them so pleasant surprise that they were so nice and didn’t mind bringing me around.


It was at Wanchai Market that I saw some Put Zai Gou which 新不了情 gave new meaning to.


And then… I cut my hair! So kawaii! 受不了。The lady who cut my hair is called Donna, I thought it an ominous sign to have someone by that name service me. ‘Donna’ will be the name of my nemesis if I had one. But then, Donna the hairstylist did a good job so I’m happy! Look for her at Aveda Hair Salon, Harbour City. Making a trip there also gives you an excuse to pop into 糖朝 just across the road for some of their desserts. The spicy wantan thing was really onz. Don't be put off by the jade green hue, they are just... veggies. It's onz.


Having 糖水in HK is like having gelato in Italy. You have it once a day because it’s only right. There’s a tendency to also convince yourself that right and wrong is but a matter of perception and that you’re not going to be back in HK for some time. And you know deep in your intoxicated heart that 晶晶酒心汤圆can only be found at天后。So, don't share this once a day rule... people might scoff at you.

I had quite a lot of alone time in HK and I really enjoyed it. It’s nice to walk on those familiar streets, never mind that it was never my home. The persistent, blinding lights were a consolation to my yellowing skin. 人民公社 is as good as I left it a year ago. I spent about an hour there this time, watching the big TV at Times Square as it reeled over and over trailers for The Departed, a DBS credit card commercial and the Panasonic my-sassy-girl commercial amongst other forgettable ones. I pondered if my café latte was served in the same cup and saucer a year ago. I don't know about you but for me, fear precedes miracles. I raised the onyx-toned rectangular saucer and there it was, the little chip I had put in the corner. It had tasted like frozen 芝麻糊, the last time I bit into it. No point repeating what I had done so I lowered it and asked for the bill.

Honestly, it would have been difficult leaving HK if I had not been away from Singapore for so long.


I don’t know when we can hang out like that again but it was nice, living out these new memories before we keep them.

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?- It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?- No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?- All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?- No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?- No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?- She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?- I got proof.

What kind of proof?- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"

An American, Japanese and Chinese guy went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted.When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.
Feeling refreshed,the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and theJapanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on. The American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his facerather than his private part.
The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize." .