On the day of Sunday, 26 July 2009,20:13:00
where are they, imaginings... my imaginings...
I've been baking a lot - I bought an expensive stand mixer in hope of starting my own cupcake business some day... probably some day next year! One of the reasons for wanting to start this cupcake business is because I don't want to have to please a boss anymore :(
Actually, I think I'm a damn good worker. I'm pretty hardworking, responsible and organised, and I never keep my bosses guessing, so they know exactly what I'm doing and how I'm progressing. I also take instructions well. I state my opinions but I'm not opinionated. Even if my boss thinks differently from me, I understand that the final decision lies with him and I'd still perform taking the directive from him. But these take their toil on me... Maybe I just need a holiday?
I don't want to be forced to participate in inane discussions anymore... and those boring lunches and endless coordination. I don't want to have to keep telling myself to zen because of some sarcastic remarks and I don't want to do things that I don't believe in. Thing is, even if I have to do a million things against my will, I want to do it with the knowledge that it's worth the experience and not because my boss will be unhappy... Maybe I just need a holiday.
I can't seem to find enough time to do the things that I want to do... - music & writing. I have been working, a lot and other things, not a lot. I haven't been thinking and feeling much :( which is why I don't have much to blog... I can go for dinner, or a movie or have light conversation after work, but I've little energy for anything creative. I can't even imagine imagining, so I've not been reading much. Most nights, I slap myself onto the bed and lull myself to sleep with a few rounds of word games on my itouch. And work has been creeping into my dreams... it is very telling of what's weighing on my mind.
Idealistically and ambitiously, I'm hoping that a sustainable business can give me more time. But honestly, I'd need to devote much more time. For now, maybe, I just need a holiday and better time management. There have been lots of exhibitions and programmes this year but it's not always going to be like that; I should be able to breathe soon (sure I can manage 2 months!) And I need to breathe because my work scope is changing and soon I can do more! Which scares me too, as it might take away more of my time... But funny how there is a satisfaction in being given more responsibility, even for a job that I'm not all passionate about! What vanity!
Oh well, we'll see what comes.
My main reason for wanting to sell cupcakes, is, in all pureness, my love for creation and the hope of affecting people with something I've made from scratch. The same ideology goes for my writing and all...
Oh and before I end, do you like this new layout? I'm lovin this new layout! I really should blog more!
