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On the day of Tuesday, 29 July 2008,12:21:00
People keep looking for love. They meet someone great and suppose they have found, but what they really find, is themselves looking again. I finally got down to watching Before Sunrise. Funny how I had a thought last night and this morning, this movie.
There are many types of love but there is this one kind which warrants this search. That person could be a doctor or a fisherman; occupations hardly play a part. Neither does a sordid past or an introvert-extrovert difference. His mere presence is like a lingering scent, a drug that infuses your body and keeps your organs smiling.
But this happens not when you meet someone great, but when you meet the one who transforms you into your personal best. The interaction is surreal. You now have all the right things to say and the right words to express them with; your timing is immaculate. You possess social skills you have never learnt but can now wield with impeccable dexterity, even with everybody else. All of a sudden you’re charming, and funny, and spontaneous; and feel contentment you never knew you were capable of. You love yourself more adequately than ever and could never remember why you were once petty enough to succumb to selfish emotions like stinginess or jealousy. For those who don’t know or believe in this love, or perhaps too impatient, they might be convinced take the vows with the best person they can find to date. I’m not sure how to comment on that. With all due respect, it is a conventional behaviour that makes it easier for one to function in the social context. But it also seems a pity and rather unfair especially when the sparks finally hit them and the marriage becomes a downward spiral of deceit and disappointment.
Funnily, x xx xxx hoping for something xxxx xxxx. Wonderful and magical xxx xx xxxxx xx xx xxx xxx xx in the movie and in real life; X xxxxx xxxxxx xx meet that someone great – xxxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxxxx – who will make xx xxxxxxx xxxx x xxxx xxxxx. Weddings are beautiful and this picture is taken at a wedding gig I did some months ago. Not sure about this marriage but it is rare that the Lover becomes the Spouse. Where one promises till-death-do-us-part, the other’s tomb reads it-is-as-good-as-it-lasts. Which is which?
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On the day of Thursday, 24 July 2008,00:39:00
In my small, accidental collection of Alice in Wonderland paraphernalia, I have the book (second hand and costs only 50p), a pretty postcard with a storyboard on how Lewis Carol came up with the story, and, most recently, a necklace (a piece of costume jewellery with a drawing of Alice on a white dog tag).
In spite of this modest collection, Alice in Wonderland is not one of my favourite tales. I do, however, find myself a little like Alice, as she has an older sister and so do I. She has a wild imagination, so do I. She enters her dream world, I, well … almost.
In Wonderland, it is fun but it can be scary; it is bizarre but you can survive with some wit. The houses are too big, the houses are too small… nothing is quite the ordinary. It is a place for escape, a holiday, an adventure!
In the story, Alice follows the Rabbit and lands herself in Wonderland. I so need a holiday. So can I or can I not head to Wonderland soon?
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On the day of Tuesday, 8 July 2008,00:23:00
Everyday I do small little things in a bid to make myself happy – a good meal, a new skirt… things like that. I tell XY that I’m an urbanite through and through, inflicted with urbanite ailments – so private yet and so afraid of loneliness. Easily bored. Becoming rather caught up with the what-can-I-get-out-of-doing-this rather than enjoying what I’m doing. I’m a pain, basically. And it’s not easy to derive happiness from pain… unless you’re sadistic or something, but that brings us to a different genre…
So here I am, in my own genre. Having been quite the average student all my life, I find myself now rather caught up with results. It might be what the corporate life is doing to me, having lived it for over a year now. I’ve never liked meetings; they are all about the outcome. I am in awe of people who can make small talk during meetings as a sort of temporal oasis before swerving right back onto the dry tracks of the agenda. I am actually genuinely interested in the small talk, which is why I get carried away. How's your day? How's your dog? How's your mom's cooking? If I had my way, all my meetings will be light bantering and decision-making will be reduced to the boss’ preference (which is more than likely the way to go in the end anyway). I really do not enjoy the journey of negotiating back and forth on work-related matters. As Beatles once sang: You say yes, I say no, you say stop, I say go go go… Bleah… waste of time.
Results can also equal acquisitions – like buying a new skirt or buying a good meal, which explains why I’m doing these little happy things for myself on a daily basis, I need new destinations everyday because I tend to overlook the journey. Much like going home without a report card and unsure if you’ve learnt anything at school; I need to fondle and fawn over that new purchase to make me feel like I’ve lived my day worthwhile.
Funny situations people get themselves into.  
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