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On the day of Saturday, 28 June 2008,22:55:00
I always talk about wanting to write, and I’d really rather I write about it instead, but if I did I would be writing and not just talking, the way I always talk about wanting to write.
Anyway, it’s Saturday night and I have hours at my disposal. This is a luxury considering my greatest gripe these days is the lack of time and energy. Instead of being thankful, I feel like I've been stranded on an island, floating in a sea of wasteful time and useless telephone numbers. I feel sapped of enthusiasm. So I now realise that it’s not about the time or energy, but that my feeble walls of optimism have crumbled again, and this time round given in to boredom.
Boredom, is it? When I was young I’d make these lists of Things To Do When I’m Feeling Bored At Home whenever I was bored at home. The lists will include things like baking and watching TV, and very definitely, the last item will be to Make A List Of Things To Do When I’m Feeling Bored At Home. I found this final insertion funny I’d laugh at myself every time, as if I had been watching myself play out a script, for myself. And I’d feel so much better from the amusement.
Actually, fighting boredom is not unlike fighting for happiness. It’s an upstream swim and requires constant mental and physical effort to make things better. Now that I’m all grown up, doing things might keep me occupied but they no longer keep the boredom at bay. Going out is an activity but it’s who I’m out with that makes it worth my while. Blogging is not as meaningful as writing a song. In any case, I’d like to learn to be less picky.
Life does entail a lot of stumbling and learning and I’m not new to battling the darkness in my nature. One thing I’ve come to realise though is that the simple answer to contentment has been told to me many, many times. I’ve just failed to pick it up.
Years ago, Ming and I used to watch this anime called Akazukin Cha Cha on cable. It’s kind of like a younger version of Sailormoon. The lead is a cute little girl who transforms into a beautiful and powerful superheroine, with no less, a grand anthem and a dazzling show of lights in the background, to beat up bad guys. Towards the end of her transformation, she will shout an incantation that encompasses all the magic we need to keep our souls happy and alive. She says:
Love! Courage! And… Hope! 
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On the day of Sunday, 22 June 2008,14:03:00
 他還在！ ^.^
過了那麽久，還在！
認識了一年半，發現我喜歡他就像喜歡香港這個久久見一次的城市一樣。喜歡到想要一直在一起。卻又喜歡距離帶來的神秘。^.^
HAHA!
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